Terrible diarrhea that takes the form of a chunky, hot liquid gushing from your anus. May be caused by a horrific stomach bug, killer disease or vindaloo. Often accompanied by stomach cramps and a sinking feeling of hopelessness.
Not to be confused with [explosive diarrhea] which erupts with force, the squits are more of a steady trickle.
If you have the squits you will need to confine yourself to the toilet for at least 24 hours armed with a good supply of toilet paper, some Gatorade (for rehydration purposes) and some porno to stop yourself getting bored during the long shitting sessions.
> Man: Hey Tony, where have you been for the last week?
> Tony: Oh yeah, I came down with a terrible case of the squits. My arse feels like a [tattered sleeve] from all the wiping.
> Man: Ew.